I am a Parent

Well, shock of the century, here's me spouting off about something again:) 

I worked on this post after reading a post from Sarah, whose blog was the first one I ever read and happens to be my favorite to this day.  Seriously, she's amazing, and cracks me up because she gets all awesome-fiery, and does it with such tact and without apologizing--LOVE that!

Anyway, she really was talking about the teenage girl (and younger) phenomenon in regards to clothing, magazines, movies, music, etc. and how we could ever combat that as moms looking to raise basically, wholesome kids.  She called for a parenting revolution--and, as usual, I TOTALLY agree with her.

I've long thought that parents should have to take a vow, similar to those we take when we choose our life partners.  Although I'm sure this will evolve over time, here are my beliefs on paper.  (And, just to clarify, my husband is a wonderful partner, but I was looking at these things as something each individual would need to choose themselves, so that's why it's written in the first person!)

I am a Parent.

I am a friend to my peers,
but not to my child.

I will not use my child
to fill my own voids
in love,
image,
or popularity.

I am a soft place to fall
and sometimes a hard place to land
because I have standards
that I will not compromise,
disown,
or lower 
for any reason.

I will teach my child
about God
and His wonder
and tell him
about how He has changed
my life.

I will let my child roam free in nature,
growing, touching, climbing, learning,
and even sometimes falling
all on his own.
I will be there to dress his wounds
but I won't hover.

I will not get in the way
of my child's core being,
but I will direct his energies toward good.

I will allow him to fail.
A lot.
And develop the confidence
that comes after finally figuring it out
after so many failed attempts.

My child will understand the value
of hard work
and money
because he will learn by doing
and by example.

He will learn
there is no task he is too
important to complete
because he will be
made to do
some mundane
gross
difficult
but necessary
tasks.

He will not have everything
he wants
or everyone else has.

I will teach my child
that our bodies
are temples
and we must treat them
as so
in all we do
in regards to ourselves
and others.

I will not be a part of
teenage gossip
drinking
sexualization
or inappropriate trends.
I am not a teenager.

I will not allow him freedom
in all things.
media
fashion
friends
play
in my home
will all happen
and sometimes not happen
under my watchful eye
as I deem appropriate.

I will not
inherently trust him,
but I will allow him
to build trust over time
and enjoy the privileges
that come with trust.

I will not allow him
to quit something he started
midway
or not try his best
at all times.

I will allow him
to choose
what he loves
and pursue those things
with enthusiasm.

I will not complete
his school projects
at 3am
on the due date.
He will take an F
and the consequences
that come with it.

I will encourage
questioning
but I will
have the final say.

I will continue to
learn
read
talk
research
about parenting
because I know that I
don't have all the answers.

I will make
well-informed choices
that suit our family
even if and when
they may not be
popular.

I will do my best
to make our home
a place that fosters
happiness
creativity
peace
love
fun
respect
from and to
everyone.

And I will
mess up.
A lot.
And I will
apologize.
A lot.

But, I will not become
complacent
about parenting.
Because I love
my family
and my child
and I know
that all children are 
precious gifts.

And I truly believe
that raising a child
to be a 
competent
confident
happy
healthy
fulfilled
faithful
adult
is the greatest
opportunity
challenge
blessing
responsibility
joy
that I will ever know.

I'd love to hear your thoughts/additions:)  What would be in your "parent vows"?

Comments

  1. I absolutely love this! Now if only you could get it in the hands of every parent. Just yesterday I read a blog post about what society is doing to young girls. There was a photo of very young, "developing" girl wearing a tank top and she was pointing to her chest. The top of the shirt said "work in progress" and then there was an arrow pointing south that said, "good to go!" It was the most horrifying and infuriating thing I think I have ever seen. It may sound silly, but I am completely loving the fact that my 10-year-old still thinks the tooth fairy leaves money under her pillow. There is nothing wrong with innocence ... or discipline. It's the stuff good kids are made of!

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  2. Thanks, Jen! Wow, I can't believe that picture you're referring to--so sad. I agree--bring on the tooth fairy:) Thanks for reading!

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  3. Well said, well said! As a teacher, I struggle with the relationship of the parent with their child often. Because parents don't act/do as they should, the resolution rests on the teacher. Additionally, we tend to focus on the wrong/bad things that occur in society, and I think it is also important to note what wonderful parents are out there as well. These are the parents that live by what you perfectly stated here. I enjoyed reading this, and I thank you for sharing!

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  4. This is amazing. You've obviously put a lot of thought into it. I'm bookmarking this (since you already know I write about parenting quite a bit!). Thanks!

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  5. Really great, Becky! I loved this and totally agree. So often we're tempted to be our children's friend, when they already have plenty of friends - they need their parents to be parents.

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